In His Daughter's Laughter
by backstagespotlight
Summary: A GSR Dead Doll, alternate universe fic. As if Sara being missing wasn't hard enough, Grissom has to deal with more than one secret being revealed. For fans of mine, think Bugs Don't own anything but the Bugs.


Grissom paced his office, trying to get a hold of himself. Sara needed him. Their kids needed him. His team needed him. And he needed Sara.

She was out there, somewhere, underneath that car. She was stuck and he was helpless. He paced back and stared down at the model on his desk. He had already examined every inch of that model, but he kept searching, hoping that maybe he'd missed something before. His eye caught the clock and he realized it was almost the time that Sara should have been heading out. After Caitlyn's birth Sara had sworn off triples and avoided doubles whenever possible. Their three small children had become Sara's passion, so much so that they had been discussing her possible retirement. Grissom picked up the phone and dialed a number.

"Meg, this is Grissom. Listen, Sara's gone missing. I need you to keep the kids a little longer. Please." There was a gasp at the other end of the line.

"Gil, I can do that, but Mattie's sick again and I've been promising him that one of you would be home soon," their sitter answered. Grissom considered this. He couldn't tell her to put the two year old on the phone because Mattie was deaf.

"Can you bring them here to the lab?" he asked, finally admitting that their secret was going to come out at some time during the investigation. He could sense the confusion in Meg's hesitation.

"Yeah, but it will take some time. They're all still in their PJ's." Grissom said that I was no problem and asked her to call when they pulled in and he'd come clear them with security. He hung up the phone and walked the model to the layout room, hoping that his team could catch the essential clue he'd missed.

The group of criminalists was huddled together over everything they had confiscated from Natalie Davis' apartment. They all looked exhausted, but Greg's eyes were especially red and bloodshot. Grissom set the model in front of them, carefully extracting the Sara doll. He took this to a separate corner of the layout table and carefully cut through the replica vest and blouse. He noticed that Natalie had sculpted the miniature to include the few pounds of baby fat Sara was trying to lose after Caitlyn's birth four months ago. He smiled slightly as he remembered coming home to see Sara doing 'Mommy and me' workouts with the infant while the two older kids napped. He continued to scrutinize the doll, while the comments and observations of his team floated around him. Suddenly his cell phone vibrated and he leapt to grab it, reaching in front of Nick to do so. He took one look at the number and fled the room, answering as he went. The four abandoned CSI's exchanged looks of confusion, but continued working.

Grissom raced down the hall to reception. When he got there he stopped in the doorway for a moment to study his kids. Four year old Sydle sat, bright and cheerful, dressed in a pale pink spaghetti-strap sundress which contrasted beautifully against her dark brown curls. With her striking resemblance to Sara it was nearly impossible to tell that the little one was adopted. Next to her, looking like he was about ready to drop, stood his raven haired son, Matthias. Young Mattie's face was flushed and his blue 

eyes were missing their usual sparkle. Rounding out the group was Caitlyn, resting in her car seat which the sitter was holding.

Sydle was the first to spot him. She let out an excited "Daddy!" and rushed in for a hug. Grissom obliged then turned to his two year old. He lifted the exhausted boy into his arms and held him close. Mattie immediately melted into Grissom, snuggling his face in his father's neck and bunching Grissom's shirt in his small fists. Grissom whispered words of comfort, knowing that even though his son couldn't hear the words he said the vibrations of his chest felt soothing to the sick boy. Grissom filed paperwork with a very astounded Judy and clipped a visitor's badge to Mattie's back, handing one to Meg and a third to Sydle. He then led them to his office, taking care not to attract too much attention. When they reached his office, Grissom settled Sydle in at his desk with coloring pages and crayons Meg had brought. He moved to lay Mattie on the couch, but the boy only clung harder to him.

"Okay, Dragonfly," Grissom assured his son, "I won't let go. I'm not going to leave you. I love you." Grissom felt his voice catch and he buried his face in his son's hair.

"Daddy?" Sydle piped up with an innocent question, "Where's Mommy?" Grissom looked into her eyes.

"She's out working, Butterfly." Sydle accepted this, returning to her coloring book. Meg settled in on the couch, and pulled baby Caitlyn from her car seat.

"Meg," Grissom asked, "Did you give Mattie anything for his earache?" She nodded.

"Tylenol, two hours ago. I was about to give him those drops you left when you called," she extended the vial, "He trusts you more." Grissom nodded solemnly, taking the medicine from her.

"And he trusts Sara most of all." Grissom shifted Mattie's head so he could see the vial. Though his eyes grew wide with fear, the little boy bravely nodded. He knew these drops would help. Grissom gently dropped three into the boy's tiny ear. A few minutes later he shifted the boy and was in the process of inserting drops when Catherine walked into the room, paper in hand. She froze and took in the sight around her.

"Grissom, what is this?" she asked, angry, "We're all working our tails off to find Sara and you're in here playing house." Grissom saw Sydle had abandoned her task and was staring at Catherine. She was a bright girl, and old enough to realize the exact subject of their conversation. Grissom recognized her worried look. It was something she'd inherited from her biological father, Sara's older brother, and identical to the look Sara often wore.

"Catherine, can we take this somewhere else?" Grissom asked.

"Sure," Catherine spat, "How about the layout room so the whole team can hear?"

"Fine, as long as she doesn't," he said, tilting his head toward Sydle. Catherine was shocked into silence. She agreed to Grissom's terms, pulling him out of his office.

"Daddy?" Sydle called after him.

"Mind Meg, Butterfly, everything is going to be fine," he called back.

"You're not worried about him hearing?" Catherine asked, indicating Mattie, who was staring at her with his big blue eyes. Grissom shook his head.

"We found these MapQuested destinations printed off, one for each crime scene. There's three unaccounted for, all desert locations," Catherine jumped as Bobby test fired a pair of gunshots. She expected the toddler in her boss' arms to be frightened, but his big blue eyes didn't even blink. The infant she had seen in the strange woman's arms did begin to wail. Grissom looked back toward his office distractedly.

"How is Warrick doing with the car?" he asked.

"He can't process as well as Sara, but he's doing his best," Catherine said, "Grissom, what is going on?"

"Catherine, right now I need you to focus on finding Sara. Everything else will be explained in time." Catherine looked at him strangely, but walked away. Grissom turned back into his office and felt Mattie's grip on him slacken as the boy finally fell asleep. Grissom laid him gently on the couch and reached for the still crying Caitlyn. A few minutes of rocking calmed her down and he was able to return to the layout room, still cradling her on one arm. Nick and Greg stared at him but wisely remained quiet. They studied the evidence in silence, each one searching until his eyes were red and bloodshot.

Meg rushed into the room in a panic. Her husband had been in a car accident and she was needed at Desert Palm as soon as she could get there. Grissom nodded grimly and fished a set of keys to Sara's personal car before remembering that it was currently evidence. He switched out Sara's keys for a set to his own personal car and traded Meg for keys to her car, which currently held Sydle and Mattie's car seats. Meg ran out of the room and Grissom headed back to his office. He had been fruitlessly working for ten minutes when Mattie jerked awake and threw up all over the floor. This scared him and he began to cry. Grissom hurried over and brushed his hand over his son's forehead, and used a baby wipe to clean off his face.

_Daddy, I feel sick._ Mattie's little fingers signed. Grissom wrapped an arm around his son and pulled him close. He whispered consolingly and it seemed like Mattie was doing better, but then, blood and pus began draining from Mattie's ear. Grissom grabbed a wad of tissues, bundled Caitlyn into her car seat and led Sydle and Mattie to the car, blowing past Catherine and Warrick on his way.

The family ran into the emergency room. They were immediately escorted to a curtained off area where Grissom was instructed to lift Mattie onto the bed. As they waited, a group of paramedics rushed in, followed closely by a pair of cops. The CSI team rushed into the ER only moments later. Grissom nervously paced the floor, getting as close to the trauma room as he could without abandoning his kids. Through the glass he saw Sara, his Sara, being hooked to various machines and tubes. What he could see of her face was red, battered and sunburned. During one of his trips, her brown eyes opened 

and she searched the room. He watched as she pulled at her mask, asking for something. But at that point the pediatrician was ready to see Mattie, so he forced himself to leave Sara's care in the hands of her doctors. Just then his cell phone rang. He ignored it, focusing instead on the scared little boy who was once more having probes and lights put in his ear. Grissom sat down on the bed and pulled Matthias onto his lap, his heart breaking with every whimpering sob the little boy let out. The doctor seemed troubled by the bleeding. He pulled Grissom aside so Sydle wouldn't worry.

"I'm concerned that the bone growth in Matthias' ear is starting to apply too much pressure on the inside of his ear. I feel that if we don't go in and clear some of that growth he's going to keep getting these ear infections and they're going to get worse."

"Alright," Grissom said.

"There's an open OR right now and we just happen to have the premier pediatric ear, nose and throat specialist here for a conference, so we could get this done with today," the doctor suggested. Grissom nodded. He saw Catherine pacing the floor, cell phone in hand. His cell phone rang again and he realized that the first call had probably been about Sara. He answered his phone, while signing off on Mattie's surgery.

"Where are you?" Catherine's angry voice echoed in both his ears, "Rescue found Sara, she's alive, but she needs emergency surgery and you're her medical proxy." Grissom looked back to Mattie, Sydle and Caitlyn, then to Sara. He asked the doctor to watch his kids for a moment and rushed to Catherine's side. He pulled the clipboard from the doctor and only half listened as he scrawled his name across the bottom of a second form. The doctor thanked him and headed back into the trauma room. Grissom turned and ran back to Mattie's bedside, ignoring Catherine's questions as he did. Slowly he explained to the boy what was going to happen. Tears streamed down Mattie and Sydle's faces as the doctor escorted the family up to the surgical floor. The surgeon looked at Mattie's tests and his ears and decided to do the surgery. Grissom held Mattie's hand as the anesthetist put him under. Then he held Sydle close as the surgical team wheeled his tiny son into the OR. They walked to the waiting room where the team sat, waiting for news about Sara. Seeing Grissom, Catherine stormed over to confront him.

"Where have you been?" she asked, practically screaming at him, "You have never been there when Sara needed you. We were working our tails off and you completely disappeared." Sydle began to cry even harder, and Grissom reached his hand down and cradle her head. Caitlyn, tired of being ignored, began fussing as well. Grissom set the carrier on the ground and pulled Caitlyn into his arms. This act of ignoring her irritated Catherine. She threw her hands into the air and stomped back toward the team.

"Catherine, wait," Grissom said, "This has all been really hard for me, harder than you could know. I have to tell you all something," Grissom sat down and pulled Sydle to his side. "I want you to meet Sydle Rose and Caitlyn Nicole, my daughters. My son, my two year-old Matthias Gilbert, is deaf and he's in surgery right now to relieve pressure in is ears and hopefully stop his frequent ear infections. Their nanny's husband got into a car accident, and she had to go with him, leaving me with Sy, Mattie 

and Katie. On top of that, Mattie got sick and Sara," Grissom's voice caught. "Sara…was missing." Sydle snuggled into Grissom before spotting some toys on the other side of the room. She ran over to them and began quietly playing. Catherine extended a finger to little Caitlyn, the infant's smile having won her over.

"Gil, what does Sara going missing have to do with you suddenly bringing your kids into work?" she asked.

"Sara is their mother," he stated. Catherine stared at him. Nick, Greg and Warrick, who had only been paying mild attention to the conversation suddenly turned and stared at him.

"She and I got married four and a half years ago. We started dating while I was recovering from my surgery. She tracked me down and chewed me out for not telling her the truth. She brought me dinner and we talked for hours. At first things seemed strained at work because we didn't want even a hint of our relationship getting out. We got married six months into our relationship. Then Sara's brother died in a car accident and she was given custody of his daughter. We adopted Sydle as a four month old. Two years later, we had Matthias. He lost his hearing at six months old."

"Sara's teaching position at UNLV!" Catherine exclaimed, finally realizing how her co-worker had hidden pregnancy so effectively. Grissom nodded.

"Sara's suspension served as a good cover for Caitlyn's birth four months ago."

"She had us worried that she was serious about the FBI," Greg spoke up. The others nodded.

"Sorry about that one," Grissom said, chuckling a bit. Catherine reached out for Caitlyn, who Grissom gently handed over. They all sat in relative silence as they waited for news. Grissom began to get very nervous after an hour and paced the floor. He'd only been at this for a couple minutes when the trauma surgeon walked through the double doors, a smile on his face.

"The surgery was a complete success," he informed the team, "We repaired her fractured arm with two pins in each of the break points. There was only severe bruising to her abdomen with a slight liver laceration which was easily repaired. She has a few minor burns from the taser as well. She'll have to stay here for a couple of days, but she should be up and around soon, and she should regain full mobility in her arm with some therapy." The team let out a cheer.

"You can't keep our Sara down!" Warrick exclaimed. The team echoed his sentiment. Just as the trauma surgeon left, the pediatric surgeon walked through the double doors. He too had a smile on his face, which made Grissom's already light heart soar.

"We were able to relieve a great deal of the pressure which was causing the bleeding. We also injected some targeted antibiotics directly into the source of this infection to help it clear up faster. Because he's so young, we want to keep him here for a few days to monitor the effects of the surgery and the antibiotics. He's going to be pretty scared, is there anyway you could get some time off of work to stay with him?"

"Absolutely," Catherine spoke up. Grissom turned to her with a surprised look.

"There is no way I'm letting you back near the lab with your wife and your son in the hospital," she said, her eyes issuing a challenge. Grissom nodded.

"Your wife is also a patient here?" the doctor asked. Grissom nodded again.

"She was just admitted. She was trapped in the desert underneath a car."

"Well, we have a great pediatric staff and there's a good daycare center here, if you ever need someone to watch your girls, even for a couple hours. Tell them that Doug Ross is Mattie's doctor and they should find you a spot, 'kay?" Grissom nodded.

"Thank you," he said. The doctor patted him on the back and left him in the care of his team. They all wanted to see how Sara was doing but she was only allowed two visitors at a time. Greg, Nick and Warrick volunteered to take first watch with the girls. Catherine accompanied Grissom to the recovery room. Apparently the pediatric surgeon had talked to the trauma surgeon so Mattie was in the same room as his mother. Grissom was torn between his two loved ones, not knowing who he was more desperate to hold. He crossed to Sara's side and took her un-bandaged hand in his. He tenderly brushed a hand over her cheek, pushing a strand of dark hair behind her ear. Catherine felt tears behind her eyes as she watched the tender moment.

A frightened whimper from the other bed alerted Grissom that his son had awoken. He gently kissed Sara's forehead, then raced to his son's side. Catherine saw a new side to Grissom, a gentle, tender side that was hurting with his wife and little boy.

_Did it work, Daddy?_ Mattie signed. Grissom smiled.

_Yes, it worked really well. But the doctor said you need to take things easy and rest. You have to stay here for tonight, and maybe tomorrow, okay Dragonfly?_

_Can Sydle stay with me? _he asked. Grissom smiled, musing over the best friend relationship sister and brother shared.

_Maybe not all the time, but I'm sure she'll stay for a lot of it._

_I'm tired, can I sleep now? _The little boy asked.

_Of course, Dragonfly. I love you, Mattie. _Grissom held Mattie's hand until the little one drifted off to sleep.

A choked sob from the doorway alerted Grissom to a changing of the guard. In the time he had spent with Mattie, Catherine had slipped away and been replaced by Greg. After only a few moments Greg fled the room. Nick came a few minutes after that and stayed for longer than Greg, but soon rotated out for Warrick. Grissom moved back to Sara's side, slipping his hand into hers. Her dark eyes fluttered open and they were the most beautiful thing he'd seen in a very long time.

"Hey there, beautiful," he whispered. She gave him a smile that warmed him to his toes. Then her eyes focused on the bed behind him and flew back to his, full of fear.

"Shh," he whispered, "He's fine." Grissom softly explained Matthias' surgery and hospital stay. Sara's eyes brimmed with tears as she looked over.

_He looks so little, _she signed. Grissom nodded.

_Where are the girls?_ Sara asked.

"With the team, do you want me to go get them?" Sara nodded slightly, then shook her head.

_Wait until I'm in a room of my own._

"Deal," Grissom bent to give her a kiss on the forehead, "Get some rest." Sara closed her eyes but didn't let go of Grissom's hand. He sat and watched her for a while, until Catherine came to the door with a very fussy Caitlyn.

"She wants her Daddy," Catherine cooed. Grissom stood and crossed over, taking the little girl from Catherine. She immediately calmed down and started playing with the CSI badge he had around his neck. Catherine shook her head in disbelief at the ease with which her boss handled the little baby.

"How's Sy doing?" he asked. Catherine smiled.

"She's got all the guys wrapped around her little finger. I think you're going to have one spoiled princess when this is all done. Well, two, really, Caitlyn's got her momma's smile. You and Sara have great kids, Gil."

Grissom ushered the girls home at almost 11:30 that night. He ended up carrying them both up to their shared room and tucking them into bed in their clothes. He then ventured to his room and collapsed onto his bed.

After a night of fitful attempts to sleep, Grissom drove back to the hospital. He got Sara and Mattie's room number and was pleased to see that somehow they had been place in the same room. He suspected that the pediatrician had pulled some strings. He reached the door and smiled at the sight in front of him.

Sometime during the night, Mattie had slipped from his bed and he was now resting with his head on Sara's shoulder. She was awake, studying her son's face while running a hand idly through his hair. She looked up when he pushed the door open, and smiled at Sydle who ran toward her. Mattie woke up as Sydle jumped up onto the bed. Mother and children embraced before brother and sister started "chattering" wildly in sign language.

"How about you two move back to Mattie's bed so Mommy and I can talk?" Grissom suggested, seeing that the children's energy was jarring Sara's injured side. Sydle and Matthias agreed and Grissom 

helped them get settled. He then moved over to Sara's side, cuddling Caitlyn. When Caitlyn saw her mother her face broke into a huge smile. Grissom handed her over, helping Sara position the infant so that her cast and IV's didn't interfere.

"You know," Sara smiled, "there's plenty of room for you up here." Grissom smiled back and lowered the guard rail, sliding in behind Sara so she could lean her back against his chest.

"Daddy," Sydle asked, "Can we watch cartoons, please?" Grissom looked to Sara before reaching for the television remote. He found the old classic cartoons which were Mattie's favorites.

The family sat contentedly, Sara and Grissom snuggling and talking, Sydle and Mattie absorbed in their show. After a while a nurse entered with their lunches and to check up on them.

"You must be the family Doug was telling me about," she said, smiling "I'm Carol Ross, Dr. Ross' wife."

"Pleasure to meet you," Grissom said. Nurse Ross was very gentle with Mattie and lingered in the room for some time, chatting with Grissom and Sara and even showing some rusty sign language skills and an eagerness to learn more.

"If you're feeling up to it later, I'll bring my kids around to play with you," Carol promised. She left them alone just as Warrick and Catherine walked in. Catherine made a beeline for Sara and little Caitlyn, while Sydle jumped on Warrick, excitedly introducing one of her new "uncles" to her little brother. Warrick sat on the edge of the bed and pulled Sydle onto his lap, tickling her fiercely. Her musical laughter filled the room, instilling a new hope in the hearts of everyone there, a hope that had been lacking since that moment when Grissom had opened that box to find the miniature of Sara. Grissom allowed himself to breathe his first real breath since this whole thing began. In his daughter's laugh he heard the future, a future with Sara, with a healthier Mattie, a future without all the sneaking around to keep his marriage a secret from the team. His heart felt free.


End file.
